There is not perfect time to begin again. You just have to finally take a step forward. The time has come for me to start writing again. Nothing much, just little bits now and again. You see, I never really meant to stop. I just took a few weeks off after finals last spring to mentally and emotionally recover from a hard year. But then a few more weeks passed, and I started feeling guilty for not writing. I’d have to publicly apologize for my extended absence. (You know, for all those people waiting, with baited breath, for my next post. ha) But then the weeks turned into all summer. And then I just felt silly. So I stayed away. School starting up again was the perfect excuse to say I was too busy.
The thing is, I really did want to keep going and start things up again, but I also wanted to change a few things and I didn’t know how. I started this blog writing about vintage fashion, something that I very much like, but I realized that I don’t have the time or budget to constantly be posting about new clothes I’ve bought. I felt a little trapped in the small area I was writing about. Fashion is something I love, but it isn’t all that I love. I wanted to broaden things a bit. And then I just got stuck on what exactly I wanted this blog to do, what its purpose would be. I got so wrapped up in trying to create a concise vision for this little page that I couldn’t even think of how to start.
So, with both time and purpose standing as creative road blocks that I had created for myself, and not quite knowing how to move forward, I just stayed where I was. However, I’ve realized that something doesn’t have to be perfect before you start. I don’t have to know exactly the things I’m going to write about ahead of time so that I make them fit into the box of what I think this blog should be. I just need to write, get a few words out of my head and onto “paper.”
I’m graduating college soon, and with that comes so many unknowns and questions of the future. I’m trying not to get freaked out, but it’s a lot to take in. I’m learning to accept that I can’t see what the next week will look like, let alone a year down the road. I just have to take things step by step. I want a place to develop my voice as a writer, and I want a way to process what this time of transition in life looks like. So, that’s where I’m starting up again. No grand vision or profound purpose, just life, step by step.
And I’m still planning on writing bits about fashion, and the things in life that inspire me, I’m just not going to let that limit me and get me stuck in my head. So we’ll see what happens and where this goes. For now, it’s just time to start moving forward.